Survivor: Cliffhanger!?!!!

Oh MAN! I can't believe they left us hanging like that. What a great episode. Head butts! He-bitch showdowns! Juvenile taunting! Strategy! Suspense! And Terry. Finally. Lost. Immunity. Halle-freakin-lujah.

So I'm a big dork, but I was actually rooting out loud for Aras in the immunity challenge, since a) I figured that him winning immunity in the Final 4 was the only way Cirie would have a path to the Final 2, and b), I wanted Terry to lose, because I think he's a big tool. He's so clueless when it comes to the non-physical aspects of the game. 5-1 in immunity challenges, 0-5 in strategic maneuvers. And he keeps alienating potential jury members with his scolding and "father knows best" condescension. That's not how you win the million. Maybe with a different group of people he wouldn't be coming across as such a pissy jerk, but the fact that this crew has refused to fall into line behind him seems to have taken its toll on his emotions and reduced him from teflon military tough guy to whining soccer dad trying to manage bratty kids. Sure, Aras crossed the line with his taunting comments and rightly apologized, but I think he's gotten to Terry a lot more than Terry's gotten to him, despite what Terry says about "getting into his head." Aras can always spend a few minutes in Downward-facing Dog and get back to his happy place of love and peace, but Terry can't do anything to win respect from the remaining players, and it's driving him bonkers.

Anyway, all the hilarious Toolio vs Fauxhawk action gave me a great idea for a special edition of this show--"Survivor All-Stars: Return of the Alpha Males." Put 16 of the most competitive, athletic, testosterone-fueled former contestants on an island and watch the sparks fly. They could have the most insanely difficult challenges and some funny ones, like, say, who can sustain a phone conversation for the longest time, or who can identify by name the most women's shoe styles, etc. It would probably end up being a giant train wreck of a show, but that's why we watch, correct?

As for the current edition, well, it all depends on who wins the fire challenge, obviously. Danielle seems to have the most negatives with the jury, so if she wins she looks like the best bet to take to the final two, no matter who's doing the choosing. If Cirie pulls it out, things get stickier and I don't see an obvious choice for anyone to take to the finals. I'm not even going to bother thinking about whom Cirie would choose if she wins immunity, because I just don't see that happening. The Alpha Beeotches are going to fight it out one last time. Somehow I suspect Terry would take Cirie over Aras to spite him and because he'd think the argument that he "did more" to win than she did would be compelling, failing to see how she used her smarts and people skills to maneuver through the late stages of the game. Aras might take her just to deny Terry his shot at the million. Or he could take her because they're close and she saved him from Courtney's attempt to oust him. Or because she has the same negatives to confront with jury members like Shane, Courtney and Danielle and doesn't have two votes locked in already, like Terry does with Sally and Auten. But if the guys were paying attention when Cirie started talking about how much she's proved to herself during the game and how sincere and likeable she sounded, they both might think twice about how they'd fare against her at the final tribal council. So who knows what's going to happen. I do know that I eagerly anticipate hearing from Shane and Courtney. Do not call my house Sunday evening. I will not be answering the phone.