Thursday, June 28, 2007
Big brother isn't smiling
Lately a lot of people have been asking me if Henry is "excited" about the baby's impending arrival. That would be no. First of all, I don't think he understands the connection between my big belly and this baby thingy we keep talking about. He loves to rub my belly, and sometimes he will even say things to the baby, but I just don't think he gets that there's an actual baby in there, and that this baby will be part of his life, and that's something to be excited about. And when we do talk about the fact that a baby is going to come out of my belly and then live with us, he seems less than thrilled. That's an understatement. For example, at dinner tonight we were talking about all the people who would come and visit when the baby arrived. Henry asked if the baby's mommy would come visit. When I explained that I would be the baby's mommy, he frowned and said, "No. You're MY mommy." It didn't surprise me--Henry tends to be pretty possessive. He's always reacted negatively when he's seen me hold a friend's baby. As in, he walks over and says things like, "Put the baby down, Mommy." So I just don't expect that he will be all smiles and brotherly love when we bring his new sibling home, and the new sibling is seen using items that Henry still identifies as his (crib, stroller, etc). I expect we'll have at least one nuclear meltdown. It's going to be an interesting transition, that's for sure.
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5 comments:
Susan, there are a couple of books that might help if you get any time to read.
Loving Each One Best: by Nancy Samalin
Siblings Without Rivalry: by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
One thing that helped when Marc came along was to tell Claire how lucky HE was to have her as a sister. The focus is always so much on how lucky the first born is to have a new baby sister/brother. They often don't see it that way at all.
You and Tom will handle it well. I'm positive of that
Barb
Things will surely ebb and flow. Avery wanted to name Max 'Trash Can' for a while there during her more uncharitable moments. Now she loves that he thinks she is just about the coolest thing EVER. And then, he tries to play with her toys and the love is gone. Oh well.
My best friend Kristen is the oldest in her family and she and her younger sister Courtney are 3 years apart...apparently at some point when their parents brought Courtney home from the hospital - probably about a week into it - Kristen said, "Take it back." This comment went gone down into the family lure, never to be forgotten and laughed at for years. Fast forward 20 years, and they eventually became the best of friends...here's hoping that you don't have to wait that long!
Tom was pissed when I came along. He still hasn't gotten over it, as evidenced by his constant emails mocking my fantasy baseball performance.
He also frequently claims that I am "all belly."
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